


Moon Mother

by Stimmy_Goblin



Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Not anything graphic I promise, Pre-Canon, Witchcraft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25981015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stimmy_Goblin/pseuds/Stimmy_Goblin
Summary: In order to heal, one must first remove the decay, and give the wound the space to mend itself. This is what Douxie learns when he makes contact with his new deity.
Relationships: Archie & Hisirdoux "Douxie" Casperan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	Moon Mother

**Author's Note:**

> I've recently become very attached to Douxie, and felt he was the best character to express my feelings/experiences through. I'm a practicing witch, and wanted very much to mix the magic in Wizards with my craft, and project onto my boy Douxie. I'm also hoping that this story might help reassure people that are struggling with similar things represented in this story, that they aren't alone, and that they're allowed to heal.
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy my contribution to the Douxie tag! <3

For the past few days, at least, Douxie had been feeling a growing sense of pressure in his chest and stomach, and he knew he needed to meditate and clear away all of the building tension, but he was nervous. Flipping over in bed again, he looked at where Archie was curled up on a pile of books, his tail draped over his nose. Douxie had been getting concerned looks from his familiar all day long, the cat-dragon sensing the fragility of his mood while he distracted himself with (over)cleaning Merlin’s workshop.

But there was a good reason for Douxie’s hesitation. Not too long ago, he’d had his first contact with a deity, his deity. It was a bit daunting to think that the Goddess of the Moon, the freaking _Divine Feminine_ , wanted to work with him, _him,_ _Hisirdoux Casperan_ ; a street-rat that had a hard time staying on two feet and struggled not to steal food whenever he saw it unattended.

Finally giving up on sleeping anytime soon, Douxie hauled himself out of bed and over to his altar. The longer he put this off, the worse his mood would get, and the more likely it would be that he’d end up saying something nasty to Merlin or Archie that he’d regret.

Douxie settled himself onto his wide stool, crossing his legs under himself and wiping his sweaty palms onto his trousers.  _ What if She doesn’t like me? Or I just imagined Her contacting me?  _ Heaving a shaky breath, Douxie set up a stick of incense for him to use as a meditative anchor, and gently shifted the position of the brass candle holder he’d dedicated to his deity. 

He struck a match with a sense of finality, his eyes flitting over the white surface of the Mother’s brand new candlestick, and lit first the incense in front of him, then the Mother’s candle, giving her a place to tether her presence. Blowing out the match and setting in a little seashell with his sage, he settled his hands into his lap and breathed deep. The cool material of his rose quartz bracelet left a pleasant sensation on his bare shin, and he let his breath out in steady flow as he closed his eyes.

Although he tried to clear his mind and focus, his eyes kept opening up again and anxiously glancing at the Mother’s candle. Licking his chapped lips, and letting Archie’s sleeping breaths sooth him, Douxie closed his eyes again and reached out as far as he could, careful to only allow good intentions to have presence.  _ Hello? _ He thought, too nervous of drawing attention to himself to speak out loud.  _ Are you there?  _ Douxie instinctively felt a wave of guilt and apology, not wanting to be a bother so badly his fingers trembled. 

Douxie spent a few minutes tentatively reaching out, before suddenly and gradually-- and wasn’t that a peculiar sensation to experience-- he felt the soft presence of an impossibly tall woman standing just over his shoulders, the width and warmth of Her settling over his shoulders like a heavy quilt. Douxie could almost see Her in his mind’s eye, however fuzzy it might be, and he breathed a gentle, elated sigh of relief.

There was a phantom feeling, almost like a memory, of Her large, soft palms running over his hair, heavy and grounding, and Douxie’s shoulders lost the tension he hadn’t noticed was held there. He really had felt her the other day, as he’d soothed that dying rabbit, he hadn’t imagined it.

Ebbing into his awareness like waves on a beach, Douxie noticed that the sour, painful feelings he’d been spending months, years even, shoving out of sight were being pulled back up. _It’s okay to feel, it’s okay._ The thoughts were in his voice, but he could feel Her intentions underneath. _You need to feel._ A prickling, almost burning sensation started in his nose and eyes, and Douxie realized he was going to cry. A small flash of fear was there, and then just as quickly was swept away. _I need this._

Douxie hadn’t been able to cry in months, every time it felt like he might have, he’d instinctively held his breath and shoved it down, the memory of a father’s scathing words keeping the feelings locked in tight, rattling in their cage. Now, the lock on that cage was being eased open by gentle hands, letting the feelings out one at a time.

_ It’s okay to feel, it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay.  _ Douxie’s eyes opened, and he stared blankly at the wall behind his altar, the burning, prickling feelings behind his eyes growing. Her hands smoothed over his bangs and hot tears dripped down his cheeks.  _ Oh, wow. _ Shakily breathing through his mouth, Douxie finally let himself feel.  _ Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, thank you. _

His crying was getting harder, shaking his shoulders as he sunk forward, and tears audibly dropped to the stool below him. _It’s okay to hurt, you’re allowed to be in pain._ Memories flitted through Douxie’s head, the images of judgmental eyes, and invasive hands, and harsh words coming and going. _What happened was painful, you have the right to be upset over what happened to you, it wasn’t fair._ Douxie sobbed harder, his shoulders hunched. _You deserve to heal, but healing is painful and it takes time._

Memories of shame and guilt bubbled up to the surface, and were swept away by the hands in his hair.  _ It’s okay to exist imperfectly, you don’t have to be at your best to deserve love, you’re still growing, you can just Be. It’s okay. I promise.  _ Snot and tears were dripping down Douxie’s face, and he wiped at the mess with his hands.  _ It’s okay. Being human is messy, nature and life are messy. Nothing is ever beautiful all the time, and beauty is not needed to deserve respect. You’re allowed to exist in a messy state, being alive is hard, it’s so hard, and it’s messy, and that’s okay. You don’t have to exist in a way that pleases other people, you’re allowed to just Be. _

Douxie’s pain and sorrow and peace and healing happened in cycles, soothed by the hands of the Mother, over and over. Small spaces of calm happened, where he could just breathe and settle, then, when he was ready, the next wave of hurt would rise and be healed, again and again.  _ It’s okay to be frustrated, it’s confusing and complicated, and you’re allowed to be angry.  _ Her presence leaned gently against his back.  _ You’re allowed to enjoy the things that make you happy, you don’t have to justify the joy that you receive from harmless interests.  _ Her arms encircling his shoulders.  _ You don’t have to exist for the benefit of other people, but you’re allowed to take joy in helping others. It’s okay.  _ Her hands smoothing over his hair.  _ It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. _

Eventually, Douxie felt clear and smooth, like a beach stone, but he was also incredibly exhausted. He felt a kiss place against his head, and he excused himself, leaving the tail end of the incense to burn and carry away the sour feelings in its smoke. Quietly, so as not to disturb Merlin, Douxie slipped into the washroom and thoroughly washed his hands and face in cold water, taking a moment to breathe into the fabric of a towel.

Tip toeing back to his room, Douxie found the incense completely burned away, and swept the ashes into a bucket, clearing the energy away from his altar. Sitting back on his stool for a moment, he looked into the warm, steady flame of the Mother’s candle, bowed his head to it and thanked her, and snuffed out the candle with a gentle hand.

He really needed to sleep, and when he turned to his bed it was to find Archie curled up in his spot, keeping it warm for him. With a gentle smile, and a swipe at his still puffy eyes, Douxie crawled into bed and kissed Archie on the head, curling up around his friend and letting the rumbling purrs against his chest lull him to sleep.


End file.
